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BIG UPDATES!
So, I was asked to fill a position. So the workplace doesn't hate me. Cool. They even said "We'd like to keep you in the team." Cool. However, legally this position has requirements I might not fulfill.
However, this gave me a bit of peace of mind. Like ok, I'm not hated. Poggers.
Yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror, tears in my eyes. And I asked myself "what have I done?" Well, what have I done? I realized. I've done my fucking BEST, that's what. I've gone through SO MUCH EFFORT to seek help when I was clearly not mentally okay. I've gone to places and events to meet people because I felt lonely. I fucking went out there and I fucking made new friends. Fucking hell. And for the first time EVER, I thought, I want a girlfriend so I put myself out there on the dating market! And now I have my first ever relationship! Like fucking fuck, have I not done my best? What could I have done more? Who could've done better? Have I not done as well as you can expect from someone so hysteric and depressed? Like damn. There is no reason to feel self-hatred or shame. I'm so fucking mentally strong goddamnit.
So I wonder how long this feeling lasts, hahah. Work today I busy, a lot of computers out of internet :thumbs_up:
So, I was asked to fill a position. So the workplace doesn't hate me. Cool. They even said "We'd like to keep you in the team." Cool. However, legally this position has requirements I might not fulfill.
However, this gave me a bit of peace of mind. Like ok, I'm not hated. Poggers.
Yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror, tears in my eyes. And I asked myself "what have I done?" Well, what have I done? I realized. I've done my fucking BEST, that's what. I've gone through SO MUCH EFFORT to seek help when I was clearly not mentally okay. I've gone to places and events to meet people because I felt lonely. I fucking went out there and I fucking made new friends. Fucking hell. And for the first time EVER, I thought, I want a girlfriend so I put myself out there on the dating market! And now I have my first ever relationship! Like fucking fuck, have I not done my best? What could I have done more? Who could've done better? Have I not done as well as you can expect from someone so hysteric and depressed? Like damn. There is no reason to feel self-hatred or shame. I'm so fucking mentally strong goddamnit.
So I wonder how long this feeling lasts, hahah. Work today I busy, a lot of computers out of internet :thumbs_up:
